Coffee Shop No-No's

Ok. I'm writing a papaer, I need wi-fi to access Lexis, but I can't be inside of the school anymore because I see all of those people too too much. So....I come to a coffee shop. Satellite this afternoon, Flying Star tonight.

A list of things not to do in coffee shops, at risk of having bagels and scalding coffee thrown at you: (This is a growing list that will be amended throughout the next 2 days):

1. Do not meet your wedding photographer. No one cares about how delightful you are. Your flowers are dumb. And please, your husband is stationed in Iraq? Fucking call Diane Sawyer and get profiled on Good Morning, America already and leave me and my Peppermint Tea alone. Friggin' Steretype.

2. To Latin American Studies undergrad study groups: Study. Please. You'll get better grades and I won't have to lsiten to endless comparisons of your Mexican grandmothers who provided you love and support and blah blah blah. Enough with the word Patriarchy. And to the two of you in the corner discussing what you believe marriage should be: Make out, have sex, feel uncomfortable in your seminar tomorrow afternoon and shut the fuck up. You're not getting married, and you'll end up living on the west side of Albuquerque wondering what coyuld have been.

3. Please do not call my "Decaf, Tall, Nonfat, No-whip Mocha" a "Mocha with no fun." Ok, I'm plenty fun. I just didn't need the caffeine or the fat...i just wanted the delicious espresso taste with some chocolate. Fun! I'm sensitive about this. Also, I may be showing off that I know how to order a schmancy coffee. Fun!

I'm cranky.